


Book of Hell: Made of Iron, Burnt by Fire

by SatanicMe



Series: Chaotic Playboy Threesome [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: God's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Needs A Hug, Pain, Protectiveness, The devil doesn't..., This book won't contain any fluff, Tony Needs a Hug, Tony's father is "Howard" not "Dad", Too many issues, too much hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-09-15 19:07:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16939008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatanicMe/pseuds/SatanicMe
Summary: Apparently some powerful higher entity decided to mess with two certain playboys' life by making them relive the others painful memories.Yep, very funny.Especially since those two have more in common than they thought.





	1. The First Ring of Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Lucifer is somewhere after season 2 - I am not sure yet if this work will include season three, too. 
> 
> Iron Man is between Spider-Man Homecoming and Infinity War.

POV Tony - Age 5

As he regained consciousness again he noticed several things.

First, he was a lot smaller. Like really baby small. God, in what mess had he ended up this time? Did Loki mysteriously survive not dying a heroic death on that alien planet despite Thor's belief and turn him into a child because that would be a funny prank?

Second, whose brilliant idea was it to build a city completely out of shining white and silver material? Surely, it looked awesome but the brightness of these buildings gave him eye cancer! Gosh, he wished he had his sun glasses. The flashes of these annoying paparazzi were already annoying enough, he did not need the next level of torture.

Third, he was not in control of his body.

How he had realized that? Well, he played together with other children tag and cried and laughed like all little brats but did not intend to. It was like watching a movie but this was a new fucking kind of experience as he literally saw and heard EVERYTHING from the first point of view.

Damn it.

Somebody must have drugged him and now he had some very weird kind of hallucination his fucked up brain made up. Would not be the -

Ok. THAT was not a hallucination. Even his drug induced dreams had some borders in their realities and he had NEVER ever imagined winged children.

Nope.

A boy with dirty blond hair, a smug shit eating grin and an teasing attitude that alarmed Tony and already made him dislike the boy punched him quite forcefully shouting, "I got you, Sammy!", before running away.

That hurt!

/Don't cry. I am not a weakling./

Where the hell did this voice come from? Wait, was it the voice of the person whose body he inhibited-

By the way, DID HE HAVE WINGS?! The extra limbs just felt strange. Yeah, he was going to ignore them. Not thinking about the weirdness of having actual mother-fucking appendages sprouting from his back.

Nope.

He run and laughed trying to catch one of the other mini angels - the laughing felt now kind of wrong, like he was forcing it so the others would not notice his cringing of the hurting shoulder.

/This is nothing, I can still play tag! A little bit pain won't make me stop. I won't let them laugh at me for being such a weakling again just for being hit by Mike! Never!/

What fucked up mess was this???

Whoever the little boy was Tony was currently was possessing - ok, that was not the right expression since the only thing he did was watching and hearing all the kid's thoughts... but anyways. If he was ever going to see these brats again, he would make sure that they received a lesson.

They already managed to traumatize a small child at the age - Tony guessed - of five!!! Not even his poor excuse of a father had managed that.

 

 

 

 

 

POV Lucifer - Age 7

When he woke up Lucifer knew his father pulled one of his tricks yet again. He was in a house that he had never seen in his whole life and therefore did not know.

Also, his body felt different. Weaker, vulnerable, smaller and cold. He never was cold in his whole life. After all he was the lightbringer and had ignited thousands of stars with his powers!

Yeah, trying to warm himself up he noticed the absence of his powers, too. Oh well, it seemed like Dad turned him into a bloody mortal. Judging from his own high and the size of furniture around him he was a child.

He was trembling. Why did he tremble? Was he anxious? Why would he be anxious???

In his hands he held a robotic dog - ohhh... he was relieving some poor saps memories. Deary dad, what lesson did his father intend to teach him this time?

Walking towards a older and definitely pissed off man the boy, whose memory Lucifer was currently experiencing from the first point of view as realistically it was possible - yep, dad did it again -, entered what Lucifer recognized assumed was a kind of workshop although it seemed more like a desperate mess.

/I'll show daddy my doggie Bello! Maybe he will be finally acknowledge and be proud of me!/

Daddy issues.

Why did that not even surprise the devil.

The poor child had to deal with a poor piss of a father, too.

And no, the devil did NOT sympathize with the boy.

"Dad.", he heard himself say unsurely and saw how the man at the workbench suddenly tensed up. Lucifer's alarm bells rang but he was unable to do anything to intervene with the threat that was developing due the man's fool mood.

  
"What?!", the elder shouted angrily and slurring at the child. Bloody hell, the father was drunk too. This whole thing was going to blow up miserably and end spectacular traumatizing for the spawn.

This was no jolt of sympathy for the boy Lucifer felt. No, the devil was just a little wrathful because of the man. He hated sinners.

And asshole fathers.

"I-I-I wa-anted to sh-h-how y-you B-Bello. I b-b-built h-him f-f-for yo-o-ou. Are y-you proud, d-da-ad?"

He wished the boy had not to endure the pain that would follow seeing the glare of the adult snap to change into something more sinister and furious.

"Proud?!? PROUD?!???!! Tell me, BOY! What are this stupid semantics?!", the elder shouted as he grabbed the dog roughly making it yelp from pain.

Apparently the boy had managed to create a living being what would have impressed Lucifer if he wasn't witnessing this under these circumstances.

The utter despair of the boy he felt as he was relieving this traumatic memory was truly horrible. No spawn should ever have to experience such cruelness.

"YOU ARE A STARK FOR FUCKS SAKE! STARKS ARE MADE OF IRON SO STOP THIS IMBECILE IDIOTIC BULLSHIT!!! YOU ARE A GENIUS!!!!!! NOT AN UNDERDEVELOPED RETARD!!!!! DO NOT EVER DO ANY OF THIS CHILDISH TRASH AGAIN!!!!"

Lucifer recognized the man now. Howard Stark, the deceased founder and CEO of the weapon manufactory Stark Industries. He heard that the guy who created that World War Two propaganda boy - 'Captain America, the savior of the world' - was in hell and arrived there already as broken and bitter soul.

Then that would mean the boy was Anthony. No wonder the man hated talking about his father whenever the subject came up during interviews et cetera.

He heard the snap of the cheap metal breaking and cried - Anthony cried, he was just inhibiting the boy's body at the moment.

/NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Dad killed him. Dad killed Bello./

After all the devil did not cry like a bloody sap.

And then came the pain. Oh dear old friend, welcome back.

At the same time Lucifer turned even colder than he already was. He decided that he hated the cold. The boy - and Lucifer - began to despise the coldness Howard gifted them. 

/This man is not my father anymore. That monster is Howard/

 

 

 


	2. Second Circle of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you thought that Lucifer's and Tony's childhood were already far too traumatizing, don't murder me. 
> 
> This is the top of horrible childhood memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell, this chapter is even worse than the previous one.

**__******POV Lucifer -Age 14

"I want to go to MIT.", he stated in a professional tone to Howard who held a glass of scotch in his hand.

Howard threw him a distanced and calculating look, analyzing him, thinking, considering several possibilities.

/Alright. Let's do business. The game's on./

Anthony - and Lucifer - kept a straight and neutral face, before they laid out the facts to Howard.

The man was after all a respected business for a reason and knew how to get the best out of a deal.

They could not allow themselves to do a mistake or Byebye MIT.

"There are several reasons that speak for you sending me to MIT. First, you would not be bothered by my annoying presence anymore and could work in peace since I am such a frustrating assistant.-"

Wait- He had the feeling that the degradation from affectionate titles to less occurred not one sided and that Howard had made Anthony's father issues far worse since the last memory.

But why was he here when they were discussing college? This was utterly boring and frustrating because Howard was annoying him and slowly angering Anthony despite his cool facade.

Bloody hell, was he freezing. He missed his powers.

"-Second, the press will be happy because your 'genius son' will make break the record of the youngest student entering AND finishing with at least degrees AND summa cum laude what will make your reputation even better AND rise Stark Industries Stocks."

/I hate Howard's Pokerface. Can never tell what he is thinking about when he puts it on./

Lucifer watched while Howard sipped from his glass of scotch - the man had at least taste although the devil did not know if he should be happy about it.

/Please don't say no-/

"You will make weapon's for SI. If MIT is so important to you that you prepared an argumentation for it, you will design for SI. After all you will succeed me one day. As you said, you joining MIT will make the Stocks raise but I need an insurance."

/FUCK YOU BASTARD. FUCK YOU AND YOUR LUST FOR WAR. FUCK YOU./

Tony trembled heavily. If he did not accept he would not be able to flew from the monster's clutches.

"Think of your mother, Anthony. She would be so happy. It would pain her if her son refused to go to MIT."

/did he just imply-/

Lucifer disliked the sounds of these words.

Tony was bloody furious and at the same time desperate.

He recalled the blue marks that had painted his mother's body so many times, the sullen glance into the nothingness she sometimes had and her angsty reaction at the mention of Howard in any conversation.

She hated being handed things because of the monster.

/Seems like I am selling my soul by making a deal with the devil. For Mom./

Howard groaned maliciously stretching out his hand. They took it and shook it. Pain shot through their body and their hands' hurt as if they had been poured over with burning acid.

Agony that was even worse than Howard's beating made Anthony cry. He - and Lucifer - stared shocked at the hands.

"Remember well, Anthony. Starks are made of iron. We don't feel guilt. We are Merchants of Death."

His hands were red.

His hands were full of blood.

Blood of the victims he was going to kill.

And Howard's victims.

/No, that monster can not be human. That monster is truly the devil./

The monster poured another glass with scotch and shoved it into Anthony- no Tony's hand admonishing.

"This helps against the pain. Drink."

That tone in the monster's voice left no room for discussion. Either drink or getting beat up until he would drink.

And his hands hurt. They ached so much.

So Tony drank.

/I am a merchant of death. College and mom's health against the lifes of innocents./

He did not stop after that drink.

He did not like to be handed things either. Anymore.

 

 

 

 

POV Tony - Age 13

"Father, you requested my presence?"

Unlike the previous memory his voice in this one was without any kind of childish passion and sounded horrible monotonous robotic.

/I feel uncomfortable... why am I here?/

Tony was in a kind of throne room, which was even worse by being brighter than the city. On the throne sat an old man - neither Tony nor the guy whose body he inhibited were looking for to this conversation.

The old chap had this weird Howard-vibe around him.

"Son, you know you reached the age where you will receive your title?"

Tony felt like puking feeling the sudden wave of pure panic hit him with his guard down. The boy was completely terrified and shaking as he answered "Yes" In a weak whisper.

"You know as long you have your name the title will stick?"

/I don't want a title/, Samael thought but he nodded nonetheless although he was on the edge to a full-on panic attack.

The shaking, higher heartbeat and shaking were proof of the boy's anxiety and Tony could not help the poor boy to calm down.

Wait. Was he taller? Huh, some time must have passed. Hopefully Pepper would not murder him if he came back.

"You will be the angel Samael, the poison of Me. Your job is to carry out my wrath, my fury and my will."

/no. No I can't. I can not./

Samael barfed from shock to his father's feet but the old man did not care - asshole - and only snipped away the barf before he sent Samael on his first mission.

Eradicating the life on Mars.

Light headed and with a broken heart the small boy collapsed outside of the Tempel, first sniffing silently before he began to howl.

Tony admitted that he might have poured one tear or two, too. What asshole made his child to a soldier?

/I can't kill. The others were right. I am weak./

His heart ached horrendously. In the literal sense.

/I have to follow father's will./

Samael stood slowly up again regained power from the pain in his heart which was hurting because it was turning into stone.

Holy shit, Tony thought, here I thought the bloody hands were already horrible.

Suddenly there was an odd calmness washing over both of them.

"I am the poison of god."

/I am a monster./

And Tony blanked out again mortified by the utter cruelness of the old man in the temple. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor boys. 
> 
> And no, Lightbringer will come later.


	3. The third circle

POV Tony - Age 17

Waking up again Tony had the desperate need to punch something. He was so angry, the blood in his veins was boiling.

Tony swore he was so furious he  
could even create fire just with his wrath. Letting his eyes wander he saw horde of angels ready for battle.

They worse all shining armors and carried double edged individual swords. Like him they were lusting for vengeance, war and freedom!

Those were his brothers and sisters who desired free will.

Those were the rebells that would force their father to grant their wish.

With them on their side Samael, the bringer of light in the darkness of dictatorship, was going to lead them into the battle of history!

/I AM SAMAEL! I WILL BRING THE LIGHT INTO THE DARK!/

Ohhh.

Oooooh.

Realization hit Tony hard. He might have never been Catholic but this story was famous. It was basic knowledge. It was an elementary part of history since it was THE origin story of the DEVIL.

Come on, was he seriously relieving/imagining/hallucinating the fall?!?

"Brothers! Sisters! Draw your weapons! Steel your hearts! Today we will Rebell! This battle will be remembered as the war of free will! For our freedom!"

"FOR OUR FREEDOM!!!"  
  
Then the battle began. It all was nothing more than a blur to Tony because the angels' moves were even for his hyperactive and perceptive mind too fast to track.

But he felt high on adrenaline- so high. So fucking high!

Suddenly someone had grabbed his wings and pain of the worst kind shot through his body as he kissed the ground.

No.

/We are losing. No, all the fighting and now we are losing. NOOO!/

He tried to stay up and continue all the punching and hitting he did just to get the one single thing he ever had asked for.

It was too late.

Michael was restraining him. Him! How could that brainless fool packed with muscles overpower him?

/Am I not the clever one?/

"I always knew this day would come.", he heard the fool whisper into his ear.

/What are you planning, Mike? Why did you restrain me? WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING ME?!?/

"I thought we were on the same site", he exclaimed shocked as he noticed the sadistic smile.

Chuckling darkly the archangel stabbed his sword through Sam's stomach.

White hot pain almost made him deaf while Michael shouted loudly.

"THIS is the dragon, the snake, the lier who tried to overtake father's throne by tricking you into a fight for freedom!"

Sadly, unlike Sammy's ability of drawing out the truth Michael was very persuasive.

Gosh. Tony already knew how a hole in his body felt but that made the pain not any less.

 

 

 

 

POV Lucifer - Age 19

/This is going to annoy Howard. And the man is not able to disown me that easily./

Tony made out with another male ins his father's house. Yep, he did that purposefully. The old conservative war monger hated all kinds of sexual besides of heterosexual claiming them to be effects of mental illnesses.

Surely, he was going to seethe in anger when - WHEN - he caught Tiberius, his buddy's son, fucking Tony to the seventh heaven on his expensive bull leather couch.

Lucifer likes.

Yep, the boy was a natural and a horny rebellious teenager.

Quite a fiery spirit.

Someone then came waddling down the stairs stomping loudly.

/Yes! Howard is on the way!/

Tony dragged Tiburius head down to him and kissed him on the neck making the other boy moan in pleasure.

/I look so much forward to Howard rage speech, you cheat./

A glass broke hitting the floor at the same moment Tiberius fell startled from the couch because of Howard's angry voice demanding, what the hell this show was supposed to.

"Hello Howard, this is my boyfriend Tiberius. I am so sorry you caught us in the actual act. Not. You have had enough escapes in the past to not be disturbed by the sight of sex"

Ohhhhhh. Defiantly this was a low blow. For both Howard and Tiberius, since the second boy now realized his mistake of coming.

/Two asshole busted together! Best day in this hell ever!/

"YOU LITTLE FAG!!!", Howard then shouted furiously but he interrupted him before the old drunken bastard could go on.

And Lucifer sat back - in the metaphorical way - watching the show, wondering why this fight was a bad memory for the boy if he had finally deliberately disturbed his father just to make the man feel bad.

" I am not a fag, just sexually different orientated than you. You like breast and holes, I like breast and holes and dicks."

"YOU ARE A FUCKING CRAZY NUTCASE!!! I CAN NOT BELIEVE MY SUCCESSOR TURNED MAD ON ME!!!"

/You are the nutcase between the two of us./

Lucifer agreed with the boy.

"Flash news: Sexuality is not a psychological illness. Studies have proven that. Read it up. Or has the alcohol turned YOU stupid-"

\- In the meanwhile Tiberius fled deeply scared of Howard Stark and afraid of that, what would follow, when Tony started his revenge after the fight with Howard -

"I SHOULDER HAVE NEVER MADE YOU BASTARD MY SUCCESSOR!!! FUCK, I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHILE NOBODY KNEW ABOUT YOU!!! YOU SON OF A BITCH ARE NOT WORTH OF MY LEGACY!!! THE WHOLE GAY THING BURNT AWAY ALL THE INTELLIGENCE I BELIEVED YOU OWNED AT LEAST!!"

/ouch. Although I already knew man is a fool this still hurts/

Lucifer swore that if he did not know that this coldness was not only an emotional one, he would have turned blue.

And what was this with humans always scorning others for their more innocent desires?

This   
"Why have you never done it, then? Was it because I am smarter than you, father? We both know your heart is just a black pit so you loving me cannot be a reason!"

Howard was about to rant but just shook his head.

"Pack your stuff. If I ever see or hear you again, you will be dead. You are no Stark. You are too stupid and crazy for that. LEAVE! "

Lucifer did not know that Tony was kicked out of the house, too. Why did this never make the news?

/well, I did not see this coming. So many years of suffering for nothing. Guess, there must be at least something true in the bitter words of Howard./

He did go.

Dear father, if Lucifer was in control now he would have made sure to strangle the bastard, who was far too similar to his own father,with his own hands.

Tony heard his parents leave.

  
/good for Howard. At least now I have my peace to disappear./

When Tony was finished packing someone knocked on the door as he wanted to leave.

In the meanwhile Lucifer kept sighing annoyed of the choice of clothes the genius had chosen.

But well, the police was there.

"Mr. Stark, your parents were involved in a car crash."

Why was Tony so shocked? Did he not like the idea of finally being free of that poisonous father's of his?

/no/

"They both died."

/Mia Mamma è morta. No! Non è possibile!/

The genius was native in Italian. Although Lucifer had already known several secrets of the world this was still surprising.

Anyways.

Why had Tony to be so cold? It hurt. The pain was almost as horrible as the flames of hell eating his skin.

Could he not finally relieve a fond memory?

 


	4. The Fourth Circle (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is getting worse and worse. Although this is just a mere glimpse.
> 
> This chapter became already to long, so it will have more parts. 
> 
> No worries, Tony's side (in Lucifer's perspective) of the story is coming, too.
> 
> Soon.
> 
> And yes, I skipped the fall because it fits better in another chapter.
> 
> If you haven't noticed- I try to show two similar traumatic experiences of those two boys in the same chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not corrected yet. Follow your urge to point out the mistakes I did in grammar or expression. 
> 
> This would spare me some work later on of searching them myself to make this work even better.
> 
> Also, sorry for the not perfect writing style of mine. I am neither the best in writing stories despite having a very creative imagination nor is English my native tongue. 
> 
> I just prefer to write in English since that language is less complicated and annoying and tiring to read than german.
> 
> A perfect example as proof for that statement is the translated version of hobbit which is in german the double in length than its original English version (WHY?!)

POV Tony - Age 25

When he opened his eyes another time Tony wished he could just go back to sleep because he was so done with this shitty show of traumatic whatever's he was currently in.

He could neither move, walk, close his eyes or tune out all the noise since he was forced to relieve these memories.

Yep, at least that was his current thesis. Some crazy telepath found the devil and him and then made them relieve the others memories.

At least it would explain why the hell he was witnessing fucking religious moments of history from the view of the devil even though he had never spared religious beliefs a second thought because weren't those all not only tools from the powerful to oppress the weak?

And now, after having woken up once again - did he ever mention that little Sammy's life sucked? Nope. It sucked! Gosh. He would not be surprised if Sam had adopted horrible coping mechanisms like him.

Oh yeah- he forgot to mention that he was now in a ashy realm that gave him the most horrifying goosebumps he ever had because it was so.... intimidating.

The sky was a strange mix of nightmarish blue and bloody red - this was definitely not the same place where Tony had been in the previous memories - and the ground was paved with ash.

Why was there so much ash?

Did the place burn down or something?

Holy Mother, his skin itches horribly. It ached with every turn he did ripping open again. Gosh, did the boy not know how to take care of dry skin?

Then Tony passed in Sam's body a mirror like surface.

/Hello monster./

If Tony had been in control of his body he would have pissed in his pants.

Seriously. Gosh, he had nightmares for months after the 'Anakin-Skywalker-burning-to-a-sorry-crisp' scene.

Now he saw a even worse burned victim and he knew that the poor guy was not the result of the special effects of the film industry.

Tony wanted to hug the devil.

Yes, Anthony Edward Stark who was fucking bad at dealing with emotions, could not handle affection or touch well wanted voluntary to hug a person.

Nope, he was not any more insane than he already was.

It's just- fuck. He felt the fucking heartache that Sam experienced. The pain was almost unbearable. How the fuck was the guy even standing???

/I guess such a monster as me is truly not worthy of a name that is associated with the pure and good heathens. And I don't want it, anyways. After all I am just a disappointment, aren't I? Well, Lightbringer was quite a nice title during the rebellion./

Whenever this show ended Tony swore he would ready his full arsenal of weapons and search a way to storm heaven and set it on fire.

Now, seriously. He would reenact his merchant of death ages to blow this feathered asses up.

Gosh, those supposed holy spirits had twisted, manipulated and hurt his friend - although he never met the devil outside this weird magic show Tony considered Sam as a friend now - so much that the guy did not only have got low esteem issues but also did a lot of self loathing.

He watched a little bit longer into the mirror with disgust.

/I am none of them. My name shall be Lucifer from now on. The poison of God died when he fell. He burnt away with my skin./

That's the origin of the name.

Interesting.

Yep, he was so going to make kingdom come.

Also he might buy a bible to study it and search for all kind of mistakes and errors before preaching about god being an asshole.

Wait- did he seriously plan to become a satanist? Yeah... although he would not do any of the whole weird dark mass and killing animals stuff. No. Just no.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the "Age" thing at every beginning of a memory.
> 
> In Tony's case it his just his biological age counted in normal human years. 
> 
> In Lucifer's case... human years would not fit there since Lucifer is about as old (or older) than earth itself so it's more like his age due emotional growth and life experiences that makes him at different stages of his life equivalent to a human child, teenager or an adult.
> 
> Just some explanation, so you don't get confused in future chapter's about Lucifer being just so 'young'


	5. The Fourth circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The monster in the mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!!
> 
> This chapter includes   
> \- self-worth issues  
> \- depressive thoughts  
> \- mention of self-harm  
> \- suicidal thoughts
> 
> And possibly other things I can not name. Please don't read it if you don't feel comfortable being confronted with these subjects.

POV Tony - Age 25

When he opened his eyes another time Tony wished he could just go back to sleep because he was so done with this shitty show of traumatic whatever's he was currently in.

He could neither move, walk, close his eyes or tune out all the noise since he was forced to relieve these memories.

Yep, at least that was his current thesis. Some crazy telepath found the devil and him and then made them relieve the others memories.

At least it would explain why the hell he was witnessing fucking religious moments of history from the view of the devil even though he had never spared religious beliefs a second thought because weren't those all not only tools from the powerful to oppress the weak?

And now, after having woken up once again - did he ever mention that little Sammy's life sucked? Nope. It sucked! Gosh. He would not be surprised if Sam had adopted horrible coping mechanisms like him.

Oh yeah- he forgot to mention that he was now in a ashy realm that gave him the most horrifying goosebumps he ever had because it was so.... intimidating.

The sky was a strange mix of nightmarish blue and bloody red - this was definitely not the same place where Tony had been in the previous memories - and the ground was paved with ash.

Why was there so much ash?

Did the place burn down or something?

Holy Mother, his skin itches horribly. It ached with every turn he did ripping open again. Gosh, did the boy not know how to take care of dry skin?

Then Tony passed in Sam's body a mirror like surface.

/Hello monster./

If Tony had been in control of his body he would have pissed in his pants.

Seriously. Gosh, he had nightmares for months after the 'Anakin-Skywalker-burning-to-a-sorry-crisp' scene.

Now he saw a even worse burned victim and he knew that the poor guy was not the result of the special effects of the film industry.

Tony wanted to hug the devil.

Yes, Anthony Edward Stark who was fucking bad at dealing with emotions, could not handle affection or touch well wanted voluntary to hug a person.

Nope, he was not any more insane than he already was.

It's just- fuck. He felt the fucking heartache that Sam experienced. The pain was almost unbearable. How the fuck was the guy even standing???

/I guess such a monster as me is truly not worthy of a name that is associated with the pure and good heathens. And I don't want it, anyways. After all I am just a disappointment, aren't I? Well, Lightbringer was quite a nice title during the rebellion./

Whenever this show ended Tony swore he would ready his full arsenal of weapons and search a way to storm heaven and set it on fire.

Now, seriously. He would reenact his merchant of death ages to blow this feathered asses up.

Gosh, those supposed holy spirits had twisted, manipulated and hurt his friend - although he never met the devil outside this weird magic show Tony considered Sam as a friend now - so much that the guy did not only have got low esteem issues but also did a lot of self loathing.

He watched a little bit longer into the mirror with disgust.

/I am none of them. My name shall be Lucifer from now on. The poison of God died when he fell. He burnt away with my skin./

That's the origin of the name.

Interesting.

Yep, he was so going to make kingdom come.

Also he might buy a bible to study it and search for all kind of mistakes and errors before preaching about god being an asshole.

Wait- did he seriously plan to become a satanist? Yeah... although he would not do any of the whole weird dark mass and killing animals stuff. No. Just no.

 

 

 

POV Lucifer - Age 21

When he opened his eyes Lucifer was greeted with the bitter taste of alcohol and puke in his mouth. He felt like shit while hanging with his pounding head above the toilet.

Father, just end this suffering. His stomach churned like crazy turning and tensing with every breath he took.

/dear god. I wish this would be over. Now I have rhodeycopter on my heels looming like a soccer mom over me./

What had the genius done now? Why felt he so - everything hurt. He was frozen to the bones and further, while the metaphorical hole in his breast felt like somebody ripped it even more open.

And his hands. His bloody hands. There was blood everywhere and Lucifer was confused. Was the blood just imagined again? Was it real this time?

He was so tired. Sleeping. He wanted to sleep. Close his eyes and just sleep. No fucking people to deal with, no damned expectations to reach, no shitty weapons to create.

Seriously, he was just done with the world.

Why had everybody to assume he was just like Howard judging him after the achievements and mistakes of his sperm spender?

Sadly Lucifer did not notice any of the fighting spirit the genius had possessed until now.

The devil wondered what had broken Tony so much that he even lost the spark of life.

When he rose up from the depressing hole of sadness that smelled gross and stared into the mirror he understood.

/Just like Howard. See who you are, Tony. A monster. A killer. The merchant of death. Bet daddy would be so proud of you if he could see you now. You have become the son of his dreams./

A man who had a sinister smile of a crazy psychopath on his lips was on the other side. Red fluid was dripping down from the mad's mouth and a chunk of a child's finger was hanging out.

Behind the man stood Howard with the same kind of smile and a proud glow in his eyes as if he was saying 'I am proud of you, son' while his right hand rested on the twisted one's shoulder.

Holy hell, did Tony see this cruel picture every time he saw a reflection of himself? Was he still haunted by Howard's inhuman abusive mind games?

A simple glance on his burning underarm was answer enough.

Red angry lines covered the skin like an abstract piece of art. Those lines borders were rigged and asymmetric.

/you cannot even save the world from the monster you are. Rhodes does not deserve an abomination as friend. Just look. You put him in pain by making him suffer with your poisonous presence./

Dear dad, Lucifer swore, he wanted now to rip apart that asshole known as Tony's late father because that man gave the poor boy so many issues that the boy doubted his own worth of being alive.

Before he closed his eyes again Lucifer felt once again the strong burning liquid burning in his mouth numbing slowly his mind and body and making the pain less painful.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have hit a blockade right now. Means: I have to force myself to get something written and pull out ideas of my brain that are shit. So yeah. Don't expect many updates soon.


	6. Writer’s blockade

I wanted you all to know why I have not been updating much any stories of mine these last months.

Writer’s blockade and missing motivation hindered me.

I still have got no ideas and also am not actually in the mood to write even though I want to.

But well.... everytime i start something it ends after the first or third sentence.

So please, if any of you have ideas, prompts or challenges for me to write I would be quite happy about it.

 

Thank you all  
Your author who writes nothing or far too depressed shit.


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